BREAK

I wait for about 25minutes to load this page, and finally I realize that actually I've no idea what to write about. Nothing at all.

I just need to do something right now, instead of smoking 3packs of cigarettes; which is accidentally becoming my habit since the last 1hour+.

Talking about "moving on from the past", making me spend even more time to think about the past. I've decided myself, that I should move on. Forget the past, start a new life. Smile always, be happy. Then after that, what happened? Just one word~sucks.

Huh.. God, what should I do? I'm trying, and you know it. I am trying, the best I can. But still, I can't. I'd try to be good to others, and I'm expecting the same response. But they didn't. I'm pissed off. Really.

So here am I now. Back to the starting point. I've said that I want to forget my past, but I'll never wish to experience it one more time. Maybe I should take a BREAK? I'd think about it many times, and I think that if this situation still continue,then.. It'll left the "BREAK" as the best option I have.

Maybe I should take my time. Alone. Without anyone else bothering me. Just me, and some beers plus cigarettes. And sing my favourite song loudly, screaming.. Smashed some ugly face into monkey's butt, then laugh out loud. I mean, just put everything behind, for some moments. Give some time to myself to be happy and free.

Should I? Maybe.

I'll be having class at10, and most probably the lecturers have to put "0" sign in my attendance sheet. I'm not into anything right now. Except cigarettes. The one who always be with me no matter what.

Suddenly I feel guilty for having an intention to quit smoking. Hahahaha..

I have some interesting stories, but I got to go now. My 2nd wife is calling me.
Later.