No Stories, No Worries

In the previous post, I said that I'll tell you one stories later. And now is seems very unlikely~I'm not in mood for stories now.

Today is suppose to be a fine day, an ordinary day. And I like it that way. Simple. Just enjoy my life, nothing to think about. But last night; the dream. Again, and again, and again.

I was standing in front of the UiTM gate, and waiting for my uncle. Uncle William, my dad's older brother, will pick me up, but I didn't know where are we going next. After a few minutes, I saw my uncle coming. He stopped his jeep in front the gate, and guess what? She was there. Sitting in there, and I can see her crying. My uncle shouted my name, ask me to get inside the jeep quickly.

But I can't move an inch. And I can't say a word. What the hell is she doing there?

My uncle looked like he was in rush for something. And he didn't want to waste more time there, asking me to get into the car. So he started to move, to "the place"~where I supposed to go too.

I know, it was just a dream. I mean, I realized that I was dreaming during that very moment. "I'm dreaming now, just let them go. I won't lost anything; minutes later I will woke up, then enjoy my life as usual. Just let them go"~I told that to myself.

I turned my back to them, and wishing the dream to end quickly. I started to walk away, but.. Yeah, I thought that I can just walk away from there, wait till the dream end, woke up, and go to class like usual. Like nothing ever happened. Like I never had this dream.

But I can't.

Stupidly, I turned to my uncle's jeep which was started to move, and ran as quick as I can. It was moving away, and I know the fact that I can't run faster than a jeep. But I don't care, I just want to talk to her. For the last time, second last, no matter what, it was the only thing I think about that time. I have to, I must talk to her.

Suddenly I become bare footed in the dream (fuck it), and my feet bleed as I stepped on the rock. But I still ran, and ran, and ran. And finally, I managed to get to them. The car stopped, I quickly opened the door, get myself inside, and ask her "why are you crying?". Then she asked me back. " Is it really your question? Why don't you ask my purpose to be here first? Or why don't you greet your uncle first?". And I said "because I need to know why are you crying". She said "you".

Speechless.

Moments later, I just said 1 word~"don't". She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said "I need you to be here with me. We'll go to some place. I can't go there without you".

I tried my best, not to let her see my tears come out from my eyes. I smiled, and said "you are strong enough to go there without me.. You don't need me. And I have to go now, I have to wake up from this dream, I want to go to class".

Next, I saw 3 different things happened in a same time. Smiled, laughed, and cried. "So you ran for me, just to tell me this?".

"No.. Like I said just now, I need to know why are you crying".

"Is that so?"

"Yup".

I quit from the car, and walked away from there. I'm smiling, crying, laughing, walking, and smoking at the same time. 5 in 1, and that makes me feel awesome. I laugh out loud, and the dream stopped there.

One thing~people used to say that there is a kind of love which is called unselfish love.

Nope, this is not about unselfish love. This is about letting go. This is about moving forward.

Now I feel better, I just want to unleash this maggot inside me; particularly to "someone" who wouldn't say anything after I told this story.

Later.